1. Welcome Guest! In order to create a new topic or reply to an existing one, you must register first. It is easy and free. Click here to sign up now!.
    Dismiss Notice

JOKE OF THE DAY

Discussion in 'Joke of the Day' started by DSTM (Dougie), Feb 15, 2014.

Page 30 of 34
  1. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    cops.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 17, 2015
    #581
    Plastic Nev, allheart55 (Cindy E), Rich M and 1 other person like this.
  3. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    the-funny-animals-28.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 18, 2015
    #582
    Rich M, Plastic Nev, allheart55 (Cindy E) and 1 other person like this.
  4. Rich M

    Rich M Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2013
    Messages:
    4,580
    Location:
    NE Pa USA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    MSI Z97 PC Mate LGA 1150 Intel Z97
    CPU:
    Intel i7 4790K 4.0Ghz
    Memory:
    Corsair Vengeance 16GB (2x8GB) DDR3 2133
    Hard Drive:
    Crucial 256 Gb SSD+ WD Raptor 300 Gb Sata III
    Graphics Card:
    Radeon R9 280 2GB HDMI
    Power Supply:
    Seasonic 750 watt
    upload_2015-10-18_11-14-21.png
     
    Rich M, Oct 18, 2015
    #583
    Plastic Nev and DSTM (Dougie) like this.
  5. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    How True.

    men-and-women.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 20, 2015
    #584
    Rich M, Plastic Nev and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  6. allheart55 (Cindy E)

    allheart55 (Cindy E) Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2009
    Messages:
    10,312
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Operating System:
    Windows 10
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    ASUS M4A77TD AM3 AMD 770 ATX AMD
    CPU:
    AMD Phenom II X6 1090T-Thuban 3.2GHz
    Memory:
    Crucial-DDR3 SDRAM 1333-8GB
    Hard Drive:
    WD Caviar Black SE HDD 640 GB - WD Caviar Black SE HDD 500 GB
    Graphics Card:
    Sapphire Radeon HD-7870 2GB
    Power Supply:
    CORSAIR CMPSU-750W
    vvv.jpg
     
    allheart55 (Cindy E), Oct 20, 2015
    #585
    Bill, Rich M, Plastic Nev and 1 other person like this.
  7. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    79db.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 24, 2015
    #586
    Plastic Nev, Rich M and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  8. Rich M

    Rich M Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2013
    Messages:
    4,580
    Location:
    NE Pa USA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    MSI Z97 PC Mate LGA 1150 Intel Z97
    CPU:
    Intel i7 4790K 4.0Ghz
    Memory:
    Corsair Vengeance 16GB (2x8GB) DDR3 2133
    Hard Drive:
    Crucial 256 Gb SSD+ WD Raptor 300 Gb Sata III
    Graphics Card:
    Radeon R9 280 2GB HDMI
    Power Supply:
    Seasonic 750 watt
    upload_2015-10-24_9-2-46.png
     
    Rich M, Oct 24, 2015
    #587
    Plastic Nev likes this.
  9. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    birds.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 26, 2015
    #588
    Plastic Nev, bob12a and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  10. allheart55 (Cindy E)

    allheart55 (Cindy E) Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2009
    Messages:
    10,312
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Operating System:
    Windows 10
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    ASUS M4A77TD AM3 AMD 770 ATX AMD
    CPU:
    AMD Phenom II X6 1090T-Thuban 3.2GHz
    Memory:
    Crucial-DDR3 SDRAM 1333-8GB
    Hard Drive:
    WD Caviar Black SE HDD 640 GB - WD Caviar Black SE HDD 500 GB
    Graphics Card:
    Sapphire Radeon HD-7870 2GB
    Power Supply:
    CORSAIR CMPSU-750W
    :big_ha:
     
    allheart55 (Cindy E), Oct 26, 2015
    #589
  11. allheart55 (Cindy E)

    allheart55 (Cindy E) Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2009
    Messages:
    10,312
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Operating System:
    Windows 10
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    ASUS M4A77TD AM3 AMD 770 ATX AMD
    CPU:
    AMD Phenom II X6 1090T-Thuban 3.2GHz
    Memory:
    Crucial-DDR3 SDRAM 1333-8GB
    Hard Drive:
    WD Caviar Black SE HDD 640 GB - WD Caviar Black SE HDD 500 GB
    Graphics Card:
    Sapphire Radeon HD-7870 2GB
    Power Supply:
    CORSAIR CMPSU-750W
    12122587_969646986454512_4305624222515571873_n.jpg
     
    allheart55 (Cindy E), Oct 29, 2015
    #590
    bob12a, Plastic Nev and DSTM (Dougie) like this.
  12. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    351c.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Oct 29, 2015
    #591
    Plastic Nev and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  13. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    that-one-guy-we-all-know.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Nov 8, 2015
    #592
    Plastic Nev, bob12a and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  14. Plastic Nev

    Plastic Nev SUPER MODERATOR IN MEMORY

    Joined:
    May 2, 2009
    Messages:
    2,801
    Location:
    In front of a monitor in Blackburn Lanc's UK.
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    A Hotel guest calls the Front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"

    The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."

    The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."

    The man replies, "Listen you idiot. The window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter."
     
    Plastic Nev, Nov 13, 2015
    #593
    bob12a, allheart55 (Cindy E) and DSTM (Dougie) like this.
  15. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    funny-animal-212.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Nov 22, 2015
    #594
    Plastic Nev, allheart55 (Cindy E) and bob12a like this.
  16. allheart55 (Cindy E)

    allheart55 (Cindy E) Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2009
    Messages:
    10,312
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Operating System:
    Windows 10
    Computer Brand or Motherboard:
    ASUS M4A77TD AM3 AMD 770 ATX AMD
    CPU:
    AMD Phenom II X6 1090T-Thuban 3.2GHz
    Memory:
    Crucial-DDR3 SDRAM 1333-8GB
    Hard Drive:
    WD Caviar Black SE HDD 640 GB - WD Caviar Black SE HDD 500 GB
    Graphics Card:
    Sapphire Radeon HD-7870 2GB
    Power Supply:
    CORSAIR CMPSU-750W
    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    ---The next day, the kids came back ...and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

    There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

    "Janie, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........

    She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    ''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

    ...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."
     
    allheart55 (Cindy E), Nov 25, 2015
    #595
    Bill, Plastic Nev and DSTM (Dougie) like this.
  17. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    964a.jpg This Puppy is cute.
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Dec 1, 2015
    #596
    Plastic Nev and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  18. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    c8b3.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Dec 4, 2015
    #597
    Plastic Nev and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  19. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    How true.

    d2b9.jpg
     
    DSTM (Dougie), Dec 4, 2015
    #598
    Plastic Nev and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
  20. DSTM (Dougie)

    DSTM (Dougie) Registered Members

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8,270
    Location:
    SYDNEY AUSTRALIA
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    72 Virgins

    A Muslim suicide bomber died and went to Paradise, as foretold. When he arrived there he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his 72 virgins, as promised. Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.

    Allah looked at him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous and frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail.

    The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”

    Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?":biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2015
    DSTM (Dougie), Dec 5, 2015
    #599
    allheart55 (Cindy E) and Plastic Nev like this.
  21. Plastic Nev

    Plastic Nev SUPER MODERATOR IN MEMORY

    Joined:
    May 2, 2009
    Messages:
    2,801
    Location:
    In front of a monitor in Blackburn Lanc's UK.
    Operating System:
    Windows 7
    Plastic Nev, Dec 9, 2015
    #600
    bob12a, DSTM (Dougie) and allheart55 (Cindy E) like this.
Page 30 of 34

Share This Page