JOKE OF THE DAY

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived....blah blah blah..."

In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, "Oh yeah...when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds.... I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived.... blah blah blah..."

Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, "I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds."

The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the first racehorse finally said, "Isn't that amazing (hic)...a talking greyhound!"

 

THE AFFORDABLE POOL FOR RETIREES






IT IS PROVIDED BY MEDICARE UNDER: "PHYSICAL THERAPY FOR RETIREES"



Fart and you've got a Jacuzzi!

 

Old guy walks into the police station and says to the desk sergeant "You know I got burgled last night, and I believe you arrested the burglar this morning"

Desk sergeant says, "Yep that is correct, we recovered all your stuff as well which you can have back after it has been used as evidence"

The old guy says, "Any chance I can talk to the burglar?"

DS, replied, "Not till he has been in court, you can have your say then"

The old guy replied, "I just wanted to ask him how he got in without waking the wife!
I have been trying to do that for years"!

 

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