JOKE OF THE DAY

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But, as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning


The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known of course, as: Sinko De Mayo.


What???? You expected something educational from me?

 

DATING POINTERS FOR A SCOTSMAN






A Scotsman and his girlfriend walked past a fancy new restaurant.

"Did you smell the food? " she asked. "Incredible. "

Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought, "what the heck..... I'll treat her.. "

So, they walked past it again.

 

One night a nurse was making her rounds in a nursing home.

While walking down the hall, she came across an open door.

She looked in and saw old Frank sitting up in bed pretending to drive.
She asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?'

He replied, 'I'm driving to Toronto .' The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds

The next night as she walked past Frank's room she saw the same thing.

Again she asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?'

He replied, 'I'm driving to Toronto .. It's a two day trip, you know!'

The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.

Five minutes later she came across another open door and looked in.

She saw Bob pretending to dance with someone. She then asked, 'Bob, what are you doing?'

Bob replied,
'I'm dancing with Franks wife. He's gone to Toronto for a couple of days...'.

 

At breakfast, the husband says to his wife: “What would you do if I won
the Lotto?”

“ I’d take half and leave you” she says.

“Great” he says. “Here's $6. I won $12 yesterday! Stay in
touch”.

 

An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery,
the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally,so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type.
The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood,
a new BMW, diamonds and US dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through acorrective surgery.

His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happyto donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-youcard and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kindgesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generousagain, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds and money,but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street ..."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".